Breakups are an inevitable part of life – one that we all hate. But it’s good news for social media marketers, as Facebook has some top tips for brands on promoting their products to newly single people.

In a time of emotional turmoil, when eating four Rustlers burgers, drinking your body weight in Special Brew and binge watching every single season of Scrubs becomes a valid idea (…don’t judge me), the company has provided advice on how to connect with single people in the big wide world of social media.

Summing up what they’re saying on their blog (I get it might be a TL;DR affair) – newly single people need distractions from their recent heartbreak, presenting the perfect opportunity for you to get them to buy your shit.

These single people need to be spoken to like a child who had their last Rolo viciously stolen, and they love “experiences,” meaning they really should be sold on travelling or new hobbies.

And also, these single people have a lot more free time on their hands, meaning they will be spending a lot more time on their phones – probably watching your ex’s every single move (or that may be just me)… Right.

What other specifics have Facebook pulled from its big data? Well, according to keywords, men are so much more emotional about their breakups – using words and phrases like “detox,” “drowning sorrows,” and “suffering” in posts when they declare themselves as single.

Seriously, brands, please don’t believe this guff. Do the right thing when it comes to advertising and target indiscriminately, or just go for people in relationships.

God damn it, marketers.