Writing this blog for nearly ten years has severely reduced my patience for stupidity.

Whether it’s talking to someone who believes Facebook is listening to them, or receiving an email from a Christian about how the world’s reliance on nuclear energy will lead to the devil rising from hell and causing armageddon in the year 3059, the last decade has turned me into quite a grizzled young veteran of the internet’s crazy cacophonous conspiracies.

So, do excuse me if I’m a little direct in saying if you seriously believe that 5G is causing coronavirus, and you’ve either acted on it by burning a cell tower or encouraging this behaviour, then you are a moron.

To be fair to you, you weren’t moronic from day one. There was an influence of the world out there - compounded by the toxicity of a social media feed and clickbait headlines. And to be honest, people love a conspiracy - something that makes them feel like they’ve cracked the code, no matter how ridiculous it sounds.

I see you, The Sun - you could’ve just written “5G doesn’t cause coronavirus,” but you write your title “does 5G cause coronavirus,” (which I see you’ve quickly changed recently). With many people not looking further than a title before sharing, this is a dramatically irresponsible decision. And shoutout to Uckfield FM for giving this bollocks airtime.

But I digress. Luckily, this time in disproving this conspiracy, I have concrete evidence as well as common sense. NHS GP Dr Gero Baiarda works with GDPQ - a GP on-demand service in the UK, and he’s busted the three key myths around 5G towers.

No, 5G does not suppress the immune system, making it easier for you to catch coronavirus

5G occupies the same wavelengths as those previously used by analogue TV, so by extension, you could also conspire that old-fashioned TV signals cause pandemics - something that we’ve lived with for more than 70 years… 

This is tantamount to the most stupid thing I’ve ever heard. If you read and believe this, stop and think. Really take a hard look at yourself and the so-called “expert sources” that you read, watch and listen to, to have reached this conclusion.

Your immune system is compromised by pre-existing conditions and the simple act of growing old. Phone waves do not impact you at all - in fact that microwave in your home poses more of a risk, but you do nothing about that as that risk is extremely minimal.

The advice around coronavirus for the elderly and people with pre-existing conditions remains the same - stay at home, stay isolated and wait for all of this to pass. 5G radio waves do not impact you whatsoever.

No, 5G masts are not killing smaller animals, including birds

If there’s one good thing happening right now during this pandemic, it’s kind of beautiful to see that while we are staying at home, that the natural world continues to thrive. Being in such a small proximity of your own home gives you the chance to see just how diverse the local wildlife is.

And none of it is in danger - from coronavirus or 5G masts. The electromagnetic fields produced by 5G masts does not interfere with the internal compass of any small animal. 

And no, the virus cannot travel on 5G waves and invade the human body

Finally, we get to the extra layers of stupidity surrounding this. Apparently, COVID-19 is able to travel on 5G waves and actually invade the human body...really? Did anyone seriously believe this one? Email me if you did, I have so many questions.

You see, the ways for a virus to enter the body are quite limited - requiring it to be absorbed by receptors in the mucous membranes, found mostly in eyes, noses and mouths (hence, the rule to not touch your face). Receptors also exist deep down in your lungs.

So, for this to be true, a virus will have to be able to catch a ride on this incredibly specific low frequency wavelength, which takes it like a guided missile specifically into your eyes, nose or mouth.

As you can probably guess, this is impossible. And if you thought this, please give yourself a clap round the ear.

But let’s not leave this point on me dunking hard on idiots who believed it. Let’s get into the science of it.

Those social distancing rules in place are really, really effective, because the virus has no actual way of travelling on its own. It can’t move far beyond two metres, even by coughing or sneezing. The only way it is being effectively transferred is from one person to another.

So please, I ask you on behalf of all of us. If you’re thinking that it’s nice weather to get in the car and go somewhere this weekend, don’t.

This is a national effort and we all need to play our part to protect those most vulnerable amongst us.

What’s the truth?

Simple, 5G is not the cause of or a means to transmit coronavirus. 

It is nonsense of the highest order that seemed to begin like all conspiracy theories do - in the echo chambers that are Facebook groups, Whatsapp group chats and the YouTube rabbit hole of their continuous play discovery feed.

Analysis by NYT showed 487 FB groups, 84 Instagram accounts, 52 Twitter pages and plenty of other places pushing this bullshit, which celebrities like John Cusack and UK’s Amanda Holden actually fell for.

Please, ignore the bullshit you see on social media surrounding this, as it could not be further from the truth (more on this next week…). 

Don’t be like David Icke - spouting this shit from a podcast, or Cheryl McCormack - flying the false flag of asking why there’s no contradicting science to 5G not causing harm (shoutout to anti-vaxxers on that one). SARS-CoV2 did not escape from a lab, and 5G is not going to kill everyone. A lack of social distancing will increase the chances of that.

This is not acceptable behaviour.

Here is the reality of the situation we are in. I do hope you are staying home and staying safe, as this could be a turning point for the coronavirus outbreak. Following my piece about the situation, the government finally followed the correct science and put a firmer lockdown in place...let’s just say some people have been loosely following that.

It’s this selfishness that will make this go on longer than it needs to. I talk about this more in my podcast.

Now, I know we’re all getting a bit of cabin fever, limiting movement in such a drastic way and seeing how good the weather is at the moment. But please, for the sake of our lives, do not go out on non-essential travel. 

Just think about how amazing things will be when restrictions get lifted and we are safe to return to our lives. Would you want that to happen as soon as possible? Do your part.

For next week, I’ve just started prepping for a feature where I take my argument directly to the people - infiltrating 5G conspiracy Facebook groups and showing you the worst of what’s going on in them.