How to conceal your note taking in your local Tesco

How totech

6 Nov

So a blog piece from the Guardian came up in my 'most read' section on my Facebook app. It's pretty old; but it tells the story of how one of the writers almost got arrested for writing down prices of items in his local Tescos, to be a smart consumer and compare the general grocery prices. This bought on a rather disparaging vilification in his blog post, and we want to help in these times of need. It seems as if it's become restricted to take notes in a Tesco, here's some forms of concealment.

The resolution is for the mobile communication debonairs out there, and the obvious place to turn would be speech. Might we recommend some kind of spoken dictation application. Obvious suspects being Apple's Siri, or Google Voice. Preferably wear the hands-free kit for this one. You'll come across as a person who talks to themself; but after deeper thought, it turns out that this is the key demographic of Tescos. Of course, you could go for the simple "enter it into your phone as text;" but where's the fun in that?

There is, however, an alternative for those who feel unobliged for smartphones. I'd only recommend this if you're a slight "kingpin" of espionage (and have insurmountable amounts of money...which we do not possess). One of the technologies that caught this man's search for prices was the trusty security camera, the other being the store clerks and assistants who spotted him in his 'incriminating' act. So we propose this: purchase a wireless video camera jammer (at the bottom of the list of items on that site) and further invest in a paparazzi experience to infiltrate the aforementioned supermarket. Synchronise watches to get this perfect and just as the clock hits the pre-arranged time, activate your video camera jammer while the paparazzi horde the store assistants and manager. That should give you a short window of time to note whatever prices you need and get out of there.