6 Pointlessly Stupid Gadgets That Are Going To Be A Thing, Because Kickstarter
Kickstarter is both a blessing and a curse – for every amazing innovation we get, we get a few stupidly pointless gadgets just like these five pieces of tat.
1. Amabrush
The world’s first automatic toothbrush. All you need to do is read the words “revolutionary new toothbrush,” and chances are you’re rolling your eyes as hard as me!
To give you the full spiel, Amabrush is the “world’s first, fully automatic toothbrush,” which essentially looks like a gum shield that you attach a pacifier to.
After ten seconds of activity, this Bluetooth-enabled device promises perfectly clean teeth. While facts like the Amabrush saving up to 100 days of your life do sound good on paper, it’s all just a bit of a waste really.
2. Illumisoap
Is turning on the bathroom light just a little too much stress for you in the middle of the night? Look no further than a light up soap dispenser… No, really.
Wave two fingers at the idea of using what is already in front of you and buy a meticulously modelled fix to a non-problem.
3. Neuroon Open
The definition of “placebo” is “a medicine or procedure prescribed for the psychological benefit to the patient rather than for any physiological effect.” With that in mind, Neuroon Open is a “smart” sleeping mask and open source mediation device.
Ever thought wearable technology may be going a bit too far? The way it works is left slightly vague in a rather ambiguous press release. The merits are there for improving your sleep, but this is, once again, an unnecessary fix to a non-problem.
Just buy some black-out curtains, not a stupidly expensive headset.
4. Ultra Slim Bottle Opener
Look no further than the sheer stupidity summed up in one paragraph… “99% of the bottle openers on the market are just too big or too thick, or they are so tiny that you can't use them properly.”
Now, I’m sure this isn’t the disastrous problem that needs to be resolved instantly – nor is it one fixed by a bottle opener that looks too fiddly to use. Over-engineered and a bit stupid really.
5. Interactive LED eye lashes
Fine, Fresh, Fierce and f*cking pointless. If you weren’t making enough of a statement with your eyes, then please consider the more dramatic options from Superdrug over programmable LED eye lashes.
Many people say eyes are a window to the soul, so expect F.lashes to shout “I’m a giant tool.”
6. Fidget Spinner with programmable display
The words “fidget” and “spinner” are enough to make most of you unsubscribe from life, but things are about to get silly… Yes, even more silly.
The concept behind Air-Scribe uses the same technology as those LED alarm clocks that project the time through a waving arm (making the “patent-pending” bit of this Kickstarter completely useless), and it can project whatever you want on there.
Whether that is the RPM or spin time to show off your sweet Spinner chops, or even custom graphics. If you’re this much of a douche, I recommend weed leaves or maybe the Mountain Dew logo.
