Fleshlight Launch - Would You Have Sex With This Giant Robotic Hand?
Sex toys have taken another step forward with the Flashlight Launch - a masturbation machine that takes all the manual arm work out of reaching climax.
Unveiled at the Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas in January, the Launch is basically a giant robotic hand - measuring a not-so-discreet 12.5 x 6 x 6.5 inches (even though the site describes it as a “sleek, discreet design”) and looking kind of like the arm cannon from Metroid.
It is an automated stroker with variable speed control controlled via touch-capacitive buttons. And how fast can this beast go? 180 strokes per minute (three strokes per second), which seems… Fast… Can a penis catch fire from this level of friction? Guess we’ll find out!
Other features of this Kiiroo-powered sex machine include the ability to connect the Launch to your phone or computer via Bluetooth, picking from a library of adult content, synchronising stroke rapidity to the action and compatibility with VR goggles.
Plan ahead though if you want to buy this £199 device - it’s already sold out of the first batch, you need to buy the masturbator separately and charging takes 6-9 hours for an hour’s usage.
So is this the future of masturbation? The opinions are certainly mixed on Twitter, and one person has even claimed they’ve sustained an injury from their Launch.
I guess the fact it’s sold out is a pretty good sign of positive interest! Would you buy one?
Alongside the scientists, 50% of the British public and the future health of young people across the nation, I have one simple request: delay Freedom Day, please.